Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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