Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
