That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'm getting married
To pizza
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
