Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Randomize
