Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
