I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
