spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
sarcasm needs its own font
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
PANTIES FOUND
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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