I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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