I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
