If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
