Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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