her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
