My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
