Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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