What tipped you off? The sombrero?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
