I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
It's official drugs can't kill me
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
These tits shall not be calmed
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
