69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
