oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
