Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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