Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
