Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
