She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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