Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
