Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Randomize
