i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
