Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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