I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
