I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
