why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I love you. Go after that dick
where are my pants?
in the oven.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
