That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Your shirt... Was in my pants
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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