Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
