Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
