Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
