hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
