I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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