I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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