You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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