Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
