Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
