Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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