Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
