I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I am spending my child support on dildos
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
