obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
we should paint friendship bongs
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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