My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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