uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
