You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
