Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
