Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
