Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
