How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
